Wednesday, February 9, 2011
My Pet Peeves
2. Experts: By experts, I am referring to individuals who have a highly-specific, even esoteric knowledge of a particular field who, for whatever reason, assume that everyone else on the earth has the same particular knowledge. In other words, I don't want a mechanic to speak to me as if I should be completely aware of every facet of my truck's engine. I don't expect him to be able to produce a thesis statement evaluating the parallels between Orwell's vision of a dystopic society and the modern politics of North Korea under Kim Jong Il. The world doesn't revolve around you (or me), and if I, along with others, had a pre-existing knowledge of engine mechanics, you would be unemployed.
7. Sports Regurgitators: A sports regurgitator is someone who: a) is a devotee of Sportcenter and talk radio and b) regurgitates or otherwise recycles sports-related ideas and opinions of others in an attempt to pass them off as their own.
8. People Who Don't Pull Forward at Drive-Thru's: Congratulations, you've placed your order! But you're job is not done. There are seven people behind you, all of whom have not placed theirs, so creep on forward to allow others to do so.
9. "Could Care Less": It is I "couldn't care less". "Could care less" implies the existence of a level of care; "couldn't care less" implies a level of care so minuscule it is impossible to care less. So, "could care less"= I care. I try not to be an English snob (this would violate PP #5), but this one is so widespread it tends to bother me.
10. Strangers at My Door: I chose my dog, a Bullmastiff, because I feel an animal should contribute to the family in some way. I feel like dogs should earn their kibble. Bullmastiffs were originally bred to pursue and attack poachers in rural England. They still don't bark much, because barking would give humans an opportunity to escape and take the fun out of actually catching someone. So, essentially, their function is to protect their home from intruders. Ramona is gentle and goofy with her family and loved ones but she is suspicious of strangers. If the Comcast guy comes to fix the table, Mona makes it abundantly clear, via body language alone, that he is not allowed to give as much as a dirty look to anyone in the house. I live in a fairly large development, the type of neighborhood perfect for Halloween and ideal for door-to-door solicitation. My dog makes strangers very uncomfortable, and they seem to question why I would keep such a beast. The irony is that, in their discomfort, is their answer. Maybe I'm a hobbit.
What are some of your Pet Peeves?