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Monday, November 28, 2011
AP Students: Reflection of Analysis
As a comment here, post a paragraph that discusses the peer review of your Petry Analysis. Reflect on the commendations and criticisms and offer some insight into how you might take your next written analysis to another level.
39 comments:
Matt Kelley
said...
Transitioning from one strong thesis to a many great claims. Kim Lynch uses diverse adjectives, creative literary devices and strong examples to express that she believes the wind is how nature corresponds on how one lives and “‘[does] everything it [can] to discourage the people walking along the street.’” Kim Lynch uses a good thesis to introduce her analysis. Kim used a good quote, which could have been integrated better. Kim had a good choice of literary devices that are strongly evident in the excerpt. The shift in the thesis is a great one but should be described as the point of view throughout the excerpt. The personification should be described as ‘deliberately violent personification’. Kim had a good selection of adjectives for the literary devices in her thesis. Kim uses a good claim by suggesting that “the wind has a mind of its own”. Most of the one-worded quotes are integrated poorly. There was no need to change the tense of the quotes. Throughout the paragraph Kim makes very good claims and shows creativity; suggesting that “the wind has a mind of its own” and pointing out that it has “human-like actions”. Kim uses good examples and quotes to show that Petry uses “powerful personification”. In the end I decided to give Kim a 7 as a final grade. The details were concrete and specific in referencing to the text. She effectively addressed the “what” and the “how” of her analysis. It was organized and logically ordered. It was well-written and had some good sentence structure and some varied diction. There were no errors in spelling or grammar. To increase her grade I would suggest that Kim adds a few more things. Kim needs to increase her use of varied diction and use higher level vocabulary when portraying her thoughts in her analysis. Kim needs to make her thesis more effective by putting a deeper meaning behind it. To bring it to an 8 Kim needs to add “why” to her examples.
I agree with what David said about my universal idea. I often struggle with both the identification of them, and the incorporation of them into my theses. I am not in the least offended by what was said, but instead, very flattered. With more focus, and more practice, my writing can be "mastered" and "indestructible"! The only thing I am left wondering is what would have been more appropriate, and how my universal idea is not appropriate if it is supported, or at least "discussed strongly". I just want to improve.
Steve Burrill Period A Paragraph on analysis of analysis
I certaintely see where Peter is coming from when he says that I lack variance in sentence structure. Often times I cannot find the right assortment of words to use and end up beginning my sentences with traditional and basic words such as "the". The failure to use certain verbs in the correct context, such as "evoke" is clearly evident now that I re-read my paper. Although I didn't exactly think that all my descriptive phrases were that peculiar. Peter's approval of my universal idea was gratifying because my goal throughout the analysis was to continuously reinforce my universal idea, but in various ways every time. Peter's advice was extremely useful and definitely helped me understand what categories I must improve in to become a better writer. His suggestions will be applied during future writing assignments.
Upon reading the analysis of my analysis I am very happy with the comments Brittany made. Instead of chosing two things I did well and one I should imnprove to focus on, Brittany talked about three things I did well. I was please to read that my writing was "elegantly pleasant," something I'm really pleased with. I think this assignment, speaking about the peom and analyzing it, was relatively easy for me. I think the text was a great choice and I'm glad that it's done and completed.
I am pleased that Kristen found my universal idea and my sentence structure to be exquisite. I wansn't sure I found the correct universal idea, but I'm glad Kristen liked it. Also, I tried very hard to vary my syntax and keep my analysis interesting, so I am glad Kristen complimented me on that. I also agree with her on my lack of transitioning sentences. I have still not been able to master this concept and it is something I will keeping having to work on in the future.
Overall, I was happy with Stacie's analysis of my analysis. I am happy that she picked up on the unique nature of my analysis of the white paint, as I was proud of myself for this observation. I will definitely take Stacie' criticism into my next piece of writing; I understand her critique of putting quotes in places where they were not originally in context. I will also try to expand upon my reasoning for this, so I will have more evidence of my claim, rather than just assumption. I hope to improve my writing based off of Stacie's criticism, and further advance my skills in the areas which she condoned.
Reflection of Analysis I learned that I have a good combination of sophisticated diction and strong transitions, although lack strong quote integration to support my thesis. I was told that my thesis was uniquely written, especially with the universal idea being located in the middle, as opposed to the end. I was also able to connect each device to one another with fluidity, which is considered a difficult task. The diction and transitions have been well put, so I can continue to do what I have been doing with them, although I can try to further forge a better strength with using these in an essay. Where I went wrong, however, is with my quote integration, so the criticism spoke. The quotes chosen did not stay relevant to the device I was speaking about, thus not bracing my claims. I could very well use better quotes to back up my thesis in the supporting bodies. Another piece to focus on is creating stronger paragraphs that focus on the thesis, as opposed to forgetting about it. I earned a 7/9 on the AP rubric, which can easily be fixed with the proper training.
I agree with Matt in the aspect that I need to progress with my quote integration and my diction, but I think he trashed on me a little bit because he doesnt like me because I'm dating his sister. just a random idea but who knows! With Matt's analysis, Ill need to progress with my quote integration and diction choice. This assignment wasnt as bad as I thought it would be, not too bad of a choice Mr.Kefor
I think that Catherine’s analysis of my analysis of “The Street” was very well written. I really liked a lot of the things that she had to say about my essay that was positive and negative. I agree with the fact that I lack sophisticated diction in my writing. Coming up with new vocabulary that is fresh and exciting is something that I hope to expand upon before the AP exam. I liked that she noticed my quote integration. Incorporating quotes is something that I feel I have worked on a lot and improved upon. One thing I wish I did differently is checked my spelling and grammar better before I submitted my work. I know that spelling and grammar has never been my strong point. I will work more on checking my spelling and grammar in the future. I also want to work on learning and using new words that can help to develop my vocabulary in my writing. I have many different things to work on that I was not as aware of before this analysis of my paper. I hope that in fixing these different flaws in my writing that I can some day receive a 9 on the Advanced Placement Rubric.
I think Taryn wrote a very fair analysis of my essay. Obviously my lack of a third supporting paragraph is probably not a good thing; definitely could have invested more time in that one. It would have been nice to receive some constructive criticism other than the fact that its not finished and its missing important elements, but if she couldn't find anything else wrong with it I guess I should be a happy camper.
I agree with Hayley's analysis of my analysis. My analysis would have been much stronger if I varied the way I use quote integration. I also agree that using transitioning sentences would make my analysis flow better and be lless choppy. On my next assignment I will try to improve on these things as well as keep my dicton and supporting sentences strong because Hayley said thet were the stronger parts of my analysis. -susan meyer
I was happy with Kristen's analysis of my analysis. She made some very good points. My quote integration can definitely be worked on, as I tend to struggle with that at times. I often over explain, which doesn't help with the time constraint. I will definitely keep trying to improve this criticism to my writing in the future.
I agree with Kim Lynch’s analysis of my analysis and greatly appreciate it. Kim used great adjectives to describe the use and integration of quotes. I agree with the comments on my “paragraph transition”, and I see that I need to acknowledge how to properly “shift from paragraph to paragraph. Kim’s analysis showed me that my choice of adjectives were properly used and well put throughout my analysis. I agree with the grade that Kim gave me and in the future will change the transitioning of my paragraphs to earn more 9’s.
I strongly appreciate Evan's analysis of my analysis. I'm glad that he noticed my quote integration as I spent much time focusing on that area of my writing. As well, I tried to improve my literary devices to include the most important ones. I agree that my lack of diverse diction degrades my writing from deserving a better grade. The example that he gave helped me to recognize on what I should focus on more. Next time I know to spend more time on my use of diction so I am able to write to the best of my ability. In doing this assignment, it firmly advanced my level of writing.
Brittany Harnedy After reading Panos' analysis of my analysis, I greatly appreciate the constructive criticism he made about my essay. Choosing which quotes fit each topic best comes easy to me while writing, but, I agree, that the way in which I integrate the quote and analyze it needs much improvement. Although I've realized this myself before, I still do not know what I can do to improve this integration and usage. I also agree that I need some variation in my sentence structure. I tend to start off each paragraph the same. I hope to eventually improve my writing to the standards of a "9" on the Advanced Placement Rubric.
The feedback I received from Cameron Hale was helpful in some important aspects. He critiqued my usage of personification and imagery as my devices, and I can definitely see the benefits of choosing more diverse devices in the future. His claims of my universal idea being "obscure", my vocabulary being "flashy" and of my overall essay having "less than adequate selection of quote integration" were difficult for me to grasp and find support for. When writing in the future, I will be sure to make sure that I work to ensure a " succinct and clearly defined universal idea" as well as making sure that I do not supply my reader with a "constant bombardment" of "advanced" vocabulary that will take "away from analyzing what exactly the prompt is".
Kendyl Cutler’s analysis of my analysis provided me with excellent feedback. I often struggle with pairing devices with adjectives, and I agree with her that a better adjective could have been chosen for imagery. Also, going back and looking at my analysis, I did notice that my imagery was more “visual” than auditory” as Kendyl kindly pointed out. Other than those few flaws, Kendyl thought my analysis was well written. I will try to be more careful with my examples and choose more accurate adjectives. Over all, I was very happy to receive feedback on my analysis so that I am able to work to make them better.
I definitely agree with what Jenna said about my essay. I do sometimes use "bigger" words to express myself better, but at times I do use them too often; consequently confusing the reader. So, I'll tone down my constant use of these words so I don't overkill my writing. I appreciate the positive comments she pointed out and I'll try to keep all that I do consistent so I will keep receiving 9's. In response to the assignment in general, although writing essays can be tedious, I think analyzing each other's essays help us understand from one another's point of view, other than Mr. Kefor's, and other teachers' views, what we are doing wrong. Very interesting and useful assignment indeed!
I appreciate receiving feedback on my writing. I was glad that Marc mentioned the strength of my theses and topic sentence because I definitely put a lot of effort into getting them right. I also thought it was interesting that he suggested I work on quote integration, because I never thought that was something I struggled with. I knew I have a different style of quoting and I tend to choose longer quotes, and now when I looked back I noticed some of them are a little awkward and maybe shouldn't be so long.
I was happy with Alex's analysis of my analysis. I have been trying to improve on my quote integration for quite some time, so it was nice to get some positive feedback on it. Although I was glad to hear praise for my paper, I was hoping to get more criticism than I was given. She noted in her 3rd paragraph that "there isn't as many quote integrations as the paragraphs before", so I will make note in my next paper to disperse my quotes more thoroughly. Overall, I am happy with Alex's criticism. :)
Erin Chancey's Reflection on Ian Mallor's analysis of my analysis: I agree with everything Ian said about my analysis of The Street. My thesis was not very strong and the missing paragraph hurt my analysis. I believe that the first analysis I did of The Street was much stronger, however it was my own fault for not saving it and it not posting onto the blog. I agree that the paragraph on personification was my strongest, and I could have made the others better. I will take his advice and try to make my next analysis better as well.
Colleen Burke Period A Reflection: Analysis of Analysis
After reading Eric's analysis of my analysis, I agree completely with what was said throughout and this assignment really gives us an opportunity for our peers for openly and honestly tell one what they need to work on and where their analysis fell short. I found the feedback reasonable and useful, and it gives direction for the next piece of writing we are to construct and can use the feedback from this assignment for future reference.
Reflection I found that Sarah's analysis was very helpful. It points out many mistakes that I can improve on in the future. It also points out positive things that I can build upon to make my writing even more impressive. I definitely will take Sarah's comments into consideration when tackling the next writing assignment.
I definitely appreciate what Allie had to say about my analysis, and she also wrote it in a very well written manner. I like what she said about my strengths. In regards to the criticism, I agree with Allie. In my writing in the future, I will try to vary my sentence structure and use a wider variety of vocabulary because I think it will help me improve as a writer.
Overall, I was happy with Emily's analysis of my analysis. She mentioned that my quote integration was strong, although some quotes were better used than others. Reading Emily's analysis, I realize that my choice of words and adjectives can improve. Not only do I struggle finding the right words to use, but finding ones that support my claim, as well as the universal idea. Emily also mentioned how my universal idea was too specific for the whole analysis. If I had a better understanding of "The Street", I probably would have written a better universal idea; however, I realize that it can be improved. Overall, Emily wrote a great claim on my analysis, realizing the score I would have earned if it was the actual AP Exam.
Emily Christy Reflection After reading Brianna Barrows analysis on my essay I learned that I do need to work on my sentence structure. Because I do feel rushed sometimes and do make mistakes. And after reading Amanda Sullivan's analysis on my essay as well, I learned that I do need to work on my adjectives because I am awful with those. I don't agree with somethings. I will most definitely take the criticism out of both of the analysis' i got and work on what is needed for my next essay.
I agree to what Matt is saying when I need to elaborate on my examples and the diction. I need to "increase" the level on my vocabulary in oder to help with my essays and analysis and work on integrating the quotes. At the end, I am pleased to recieve the grade that Matt has decided. Now, I know what my strengths are and what I need to work on.
I was very pleased with Dalton and Brittany's analyses of my analysis. They complimented me on things I did well, while still providing me with insight about what I need to work on. Dalton said that I was repetitive with some of my quotes, which I certainly agree with. I sometimes, without realizing it, prove my point too much. I greatly appreciate his constructive criticism and advice on how to fix the flaws in my writing. I also completely agree with Brittany when she discussed my plot summary. Like I said, I sometimes try to put too much detail into my writing to make sure the reader fully understands. Overall, I thought this assignment was very useful and I am glad we got to have our peers grade us along with the Mr.Kefor, rather than just Mr.Kefor.
After reading and understanding Chrissy’s analysis of my analysis, I realized it was a major help. I agree with everything she had to say about it, because it was all true. I’ve been trying to work better with and incorporate more quotes, so I’m glad she picked up on and mentioned that as one of my strengths. Sometimes I have hard times determining what word choices I should use and how to incorporate them into a successful composition, but next time I will consider thinking through and editing my work. It showed me that I need to put more thought into my analysis’s and maybe spend a little extra time critiquing it afterwards. She gave me a lot of criticism on my work, but I’m pleased because now I know what I need to work on to improve and create a flourishing analysis.
Hannah's analysis of my analysis was accurate. My third supporting paragraph did feel weak and I should have revised it before I had submit it. Hannah also pointed out subtle grammar mistakes in my essay, showing that I should take the time to proofread my works more. Overall, the analysis of my analysis was fair and well written. I now know what to work on for my next analysis.
Meredith Davern Overall my analysis made me realize that I need to explain my ideas clearly. The ideas are all perfect in my head, but the translation from my mind to paper gets a little messy. I need to think critically, and make sure my quotes are placed appropriatly. A little more thought can really help me translate my ideas to others without them getting lost. I also need to be a little more open to constructive critism, and the view of those around me. I really do think that Jamie's analysis will help me become a better writer.
I agree with Ryan's analysis of my analysis, I was quite sleepy when writing my analysis and halfway through forgot that there was a prompt to be adressed, so in my future writing I will always be sure to address the prompt.
39 comments:
Transitioning from one strong thesis to a many great claims. Kim Lynch uses diverse adjectives, creative literary devices and strong examples to express that she believes the wind is how nature corresponds on how one lives and “‘[does] everything it [can] to discourage the people walking along the street.’”
Kim Lynch uses a good thesis to introduce her analysis. Kim used a good quote, which could have been integrated better. Kim had a good choice of literary devices that are strongly evident in the excerpt. The shift in the thesis is a great one but should be described as the point of view throughout the excerpt. The personification should be described as ‘deliberately violent personification’. Kim had a good selection of adjectives for the literary devices in her thesis.
Kim uses a good claim by suggesting that “the wind has a mind of its own”. Most of the one-worded quotes are integrated poorly. There was no need to change the tense of the quotes. Throughout the paragraph Kim makes very good claims and shows creativity; suggesting that “the wind has a mind of its own” and pointing out that it has “human-like actions”. Kim uses good examples and quotes to show that Petry uses “powerful personification”.
In the end I decided to give Kim a 7 as a final grade. The details were concrete and specific in referencing to the text. She effectively addressed the “what” and the “how” of her analysis. It was organized and logically ordered. It was well-written and had some good sentence structure and some varied diction. There were no errors in spelling or grammar.
To increase her grade I would suggest that Kim adds a few more things. Kim needs to increase her use of varied diction and use higher level vocabulary when portraying her thoughts in her analysis. Kim needs to make her thesis more effective by putting a deeper meaning behind it. To bring it to an 8 Kim needs to add “why” to her examples.
I agree with what David said about my universal idea. I often struggle with both the identification of them, and the incorporation of them into my theses. I am not in the least offended by what was said, but instead, very flattered. With more focus, and more practice, my writing can be "mastered" and "indestructible"! The only thing I am left wondering is what would have been more appropriate, and how my universal idea is not appropriate if it is supported, or at least "discussed strongly". I just want to improve.
Steve Burrill
Period A
Paragraph on analysis of analysis
I certaintely see where Peter is coming from when he says that I lack variance in sentence structure. Often times I cannot find the right assortment of words to use and end up beginning my sentences with traditional and basic words such as "the". The failure to use certain verbs in the correct context, such as "evoke" is clearly evident now that I re-read my paper. Although I didn't exactly think that all my descriptive phrases were that peculiar. Peter's approval of my universal idea was gratifying because my goal throughout the analysis was to continuously reinforce my universal idea, but in various ways every time. Peter's advice was extremely useful and definitely helped me understand what categories I must improve in to become a better writer. His suggestions will be applied during future writing assignments.
Upon reading the analysis of my analysis I am very happy with the comments Brittany made. Instead of chosing two things I did well and one I should imnprove to focus on, Brittany talked about three things I did well. I was please to read that my writing was "elegantly pleasant," something I'm really pleased with. I think this assignment, speaking about the peom and analyzing it, was relatively easy for me. I think the text was a great choice and I'm glad that it's done and completed.
I am pleased that Kristen found my universal idea and my sentence structure to be exquisite. I wansn't sure I found the correct universal idea, but I'm glad Kristen liked it. Also, I tried very hard to vary my syntax and keep my analysis interesting, so I am glad Kristen complimented me on that. I also agree with her on my lack of transitioning sentences. I have still not been able to master this concept and it is something I will keeping having to work on in the future.
Overall, I was happy with Stacie's analysis of my analysis. I am happy that she picked up on the unique nature of my analysis of the white paint, as I was proud of myself for this observation. I will definitely take Stacie' criticism into my next piece of writing; I understand her critique of putting quotes in places where they were not originally in context. I will also try to expand upon my reasoning for this, so I will have more evidence of my claim, rather than just assumption. I hope to improve my writing based off of Stacie's criticism, and further advance my skills in the areas which she condoned.
Chris Robinson
Period A
Reflection of Analysis
I learned that I have a good combination of sophisticated diction and strong transitions, although lack strong quote integration to support my thesis. I was told that my thesis was uniquely written, especially with the universal idea being located in the middle, as opposed to the end. I was also able to connect each device to one another with fluidity, which is considered a difficult task. The diction and transitions have been well put, so I can continue to do what I have been doing with them, although I can try to further forge a better strength with using these in an essay. Where I went wrong, however, is with my quote integration, so the criticism spoke. The quotes chosen did not stay relevant to the device I was speaking about, thus not bracing my claims. I could very well use better quotes to back up my thesis in the supporting bodies. Another piece to focus on is creating stronger paragraphs that focus on the thesis, as opposed to forgetting about it. I earned a 7/9 on the AP rubric, which can easily be fixed with the proper training.
Evan DaSilva, AP Lit C
I agree with Matt in the aspect that I need to progress with my quote integration and my diction, but I think he trashed on me a little bit because he doesnt like me because I'm dating his sister. just a random idea but who knows! With Matt's analysis, Ill need to progress with my quote integration and diction choice. This assignment wasnt as bad as I thought it would be, not too bad of a choice Mr.Kefor
Allie Zelinski Reflection
I think that Catherine’s analysis of my analysis of “The Street” was very well written. I really liked a lot of the things that she had to say about my essay that was positive and negative. I agree with the fact that I lack sophisticated diction in my writing. Coming up with new vocabulary that is fresh and exciting is something that I hope to expand upon before the AP exam. I liked that she noticed my quote integration. Incorporating quotes is something that I feel I have worked on a lot and improved upon. One thing I wish I did differently is checked my spelling and grammar better before I submitted my work. I know that spelling and grammar has never been my strong point. I will work more on checking my spelling and grammar in the future. I also want to work on learning and using new words that can help to develop my vocabulary in my writing. I have many different things to work on that I was not as aware of before this analysis of my paper. I hope that in fixing these different flaws in my writing that I can some day receive a 9 on the Advanced Placement Rubric.
I think Taryn wrote a very fair analysis of my essay. Obviously my lack of a third supporting paragraph is probably not a good thing; definitely could have invested more time in that one. It would have been nice to receive some constructive criticism other than the fact that its not finished and its missing important elements, but if she couldn't find anything else wrong with it I guess I should be a happy camper.
- Ian Mallor
I agree with Hayley's analysis of my analysis. My analysis would have been much stronger if I varied the way I use quote integration. I also agree that using transitioning sentences would make my analysis flow better and be lless choppy. On my next assignment I will try to improve on these things as well as keep my dicton and supporting sentences strong because Hayley said thet were the stronger parts of my analysis.
-susan meyer
I was happy with Kristen's analysis of my analysis. She made some very good points. My quote integration can definitely be worked on, as I tend to struggle with that at times. I often over explain, which doesn't help with the time constraint. I will definitely keep trying to improve this criticism to my writing in the future.
Reflection of Kim Lynch's analysis
I agree with Kim Lynch’s analysis of my analysis and greatly appreciate it. Kim used great adjectives to describe the use and integration of quotes. I agree with the comments on my “paragraph transition”, and I see that I need to acknowledge how to properly “shift from paragraph to paragraph. Kim’s analysis showed me that my choice of adjectives were properly used and well put throughout my analysis. I agree with the grade that Kim gave me and in the future will change the transitioning of my paragraphs to earn more 9’s.
My person hasn't posted her analysis of my analysis yet!! Amanda Murphy
Kristen MacGray
Period A
I strongly appreciate Evan's analysis of my analysis. I'm glad that he noticed my quote integration as I spent much time focusing on that area of my writing. As well, I tried to improve my literary devices to include the most important ones. I agree that my lack of diverse diction degrades my writing from deserving a better grade. The example that he gave helped me to recognize on what I should focus on more. Next time I know to spend more time on my use of diction so I am able to write to the best of my ability. In doing this assignment, it firmly advanced my level of writing.
Brittany Harnedy
After reading Panos' analysis of my analysis, I greatly appreciate the constructive criticism he made about my essay. Choosing which quotes fit each topic best comes easy to me while writing, but, I agree, that the way in which I integrate the quote and analyze it needs much improvement. Although I've realized this myself before, I still do not know what I can do to improve this integration and usage. I also agree that I need some variation in my sentence structure. I tend to start off each paragraph the same. I hope to eventually improve my writing to the standards of a "9" on the Advanced Placement Rubric.
The feedback I received from Cameron Hale was helpful in some important aspects. He critiqued my usage of personification and imagery as my devices, and I can definitely see the benefits of choosing more diverse devices in the future. His claims of my universal idea being "obscure", my vocabulary being "flashy" and of my overall essay having "less than adequate selection of quote integration" were difficult for me to grasp and find support for. When writing in the future, I will be sure to make sure that I work to ensure a " succinct and clearly defined universal idea" as well as making sure that I do not supply my reader with a "constant bombardment" of "advanced" vocabulary that will take "away from analyzing what exactly the prompt is".
Emily Burgess
Reflection
Kendyl Cutler’s analysis of my analysis provided me with excellent feedback. I often struggle with pairing devices with adjectives, and I agree with her that a better adjective could have been chosen for imagery. Also, going back and looking at my analysis, I did notice that my imagery was more “visual” than auditory” as Kendyl kindly pointed out. Other than those few flaws, Kendyl thought my analysis was well written. I will try to be more careful with my examples and choose more accurate adjectives. Over all, I was very happy to receive feedback on my analysis so that I am able to work to make them better.
I definitely agree with what Jenna said about my essay. I do sometimes use "bigger" words to express myself better, but at times I do use them too often; consequently confusing the reader. So, I'll tone down my constant use of these words so I don't overkill my writing. I appreciate the positive comments she pointed out and I'll try to keep all that I do consistent so I will keep receiving 9's. In response to the assignment in general, although writing essays can be tedious, I think analyzing each other's essays help us understand from one another's point of view, other than Mr. Kefor's, and other teachers' views, what we are doing wrong. Very interesting and useful assignment indeed!
I appreciate receiving feedback on my writing. I was glad that Marc mentioned the strength of my theses and topic sentence because I definitely put a lot of effort into getting them right. I also thought it was interesting that he suggested I work on quote integration, because I never thought that was something I struggled with. I knew I have a different style of quoting and I tend to choose longer quotes, and now when I looked back I noticed some of them are a little awkward and maybe shouldn't be so long.
Stacie Linfield
I was happy with Alex's analysis of my analysis. I have been trying to improve on my quote integration for quite some time, so it was nice to get some positive feedback on it. Although I was glad to hear praise for my paper, I was hoping to get more criticism than I was given. She noted in her 3rd paragraph that "there isn't as many quote integrations as the paragraphs before", so I will make note in my next paper to disperse my quotes more thoroughly. Overall, I am happy with Alex's criticism. :)
Erin Chancey's Reflection on Ian Mallor's analysis of my analysis:
I agree with everything Ian said about my analysis of The Street. My thesis was not very strong and the missing paragraph hurt my analysis. I believe that the first analysis I did of The Street was much stronger, however it was my own fault for not saving it and it not posting onto the blog. I agree that the paragraph on personification was my strongest, and I could have made the others better. I will take his advice and try to make my next analysis better as well.
My analyzer posted an analysis of someone else's analysis.
Colleen Burke
Period A
Reflection: Analysis of Analysis
After reading Eric's analysis of my analysis, I agree completely with what was said throughout and this assignment really gives us an opportunity for our peers for openly and honestly tell one what they need to work on and where their analysis fell short. I found the feedback reasonable and useful, and it gives direction for the next piece of writing we are to construct and can use the feedback from this assignment for future reference.
i am awaiting the post of my essay so i can refelct
Reflection
I found that Sarah's analysis was very helpful. It points out many mistakes that I can improve on in the future. It also points out positive things that I can build upon to make my writing even more impressive. I definitely will take Sarah's comments into consideration when tackling the next writing assignment.
Michelle Carignan
I definitely appreciate what Allie had to say about my analysis, and she also wrote it in a very well written manner. I like what she said about my strengths. In regards to the criticism, I agree with Allie. In my writing in the future, I will try to vary my sentence structure and use a wider variety of vocabulary because I think it will help me improve as a writer.
Katie Durst
AP English A Block
Overall, I was happy with Emily's analysis of my analysis. She mentioned that my quote integration was strong, although some quotes were better used than others. Reading Emily's analysis, I realize that my choice of words and adjectives can improve. Not only do I struggle finding the right words to use, but finding ones that support my claim, as well as the universal idea. Emily also mentioned how my universal idea was too specific for the whole analysis. If I had a better understanding of "The Street", I probably would have written a better universal idea; however, I realize that it can be improved. Overall, Emily wrote a great claim on my analysis, realizing the score I would have earned if it was the actual AP Exam.
My person has not posted their analysis yet! -Christina Domaldo
Emily Christy
Reflection
After reading Brianna Barrows analysis on my essay I learned that I do need to work on my sentence structure. Because I do feel rushed sometimes and do make mistakes. And after reading Amanda Sullivan's analysis on my essay as well, I learned that I do need to work on my adjectives because I am awful with those. I don't agree with somethings. I will most definitely take the criticism out of both of the analysis' i got and work on what is needed for my next essay.
Kim Lynch
Block-D
I agree to what Matt is saying when I need to elaborate on my examples and the diction. I need to "increase" the level on my vocabulary in oder to help with my essays and analysis and work on integrating the quotes. At the end, I am pleased to recieve the grade that Matt has decided. Now, I know what my strengths are and what I need to work on.
I was very pleased with Dalton and Brittany's analyses of my analysis. They complimented me on things I did well, while still providing me with insight about what I need to work on. Dalton said that I was repetitive with some of my quotes, which I certainly agree with. I sometimes, without realizing it, prove my point too much. I greatly appreciate his constructive criticism and advice on how to fix the flaws in my writing. I also completely agree with Brittany when she discussed my plot summary. Like I said, I sometimes try to put too much detail into my writing to make sure the reader fully understands. Overall, I thought this assignment was very useful and I am glad we got to have our peers grade us along with the Mr.Kefor, rather than just Mr.Kefor.
Brianna Barrows
Reflection
After reading and understanding Chrissy’s analysis of my analysis, I realized it was a major help. I agree with everything she had to say about it, because it was all true. I’ve been trying to work better with and incorporate more quotes, so I’m glad she picked up on and mentioned that as one of my strengths. Sometimes I have hard times determining what word choices I should use and how to incorporate them into a successful composition, but next time I will consider thinking through and editing my work. It showed me that I need to put more thought into my analysis’s and maybe spend a little extra time critiquing it afterwards. She gave me a lot of criticism on my work, but I’m pleased because now I know what I need to work on to improve and create a flourishing analysis.
Hannah's analysis of my analysis was accurate. My third supporting paragraph did feel weak and I should have revised it before I had submit it. Hannah also pointed out subtle grammar mistakes in my essay, showing that I should take the time to proofread my works more. Overall, the analysis of my analysis was fair and well written. I now know what to work on for my next analysis.
-Panos Nikolos
Pano
Mr.Kefor,
The person who was supposed to analyze my analysis still has not posted anything, therefore I have been unable to write a reflection. Sorry!
Meredith Davern
Overall my analysis made me realize that I need to explain my ideas clearly. The ideas are all perfect in my head, but the translation from my mind to paper gets a little messy. I need to think critically, and make sure my quotes are placed appropriatly. A little more thought can really help me translate my ideas to others without them getting lost. I also need to be a little more open to constructive critism, and the view of those around me. I really do think that Jamie's analysis will help me become a better writer.
I agree with Ryan's analysis of my analysis, I was quite sleepy when writing my analysis and halfway through forgot that there was a prompt to be adressed, so in my future writing I will always be sure to address the prompt.
Ryan Consentino
My person has not posted their analysis of my analysis yet.
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