You are now very familiar with the SSRS format that my former students developed. Now it's your turn to suggest modifications that will enhance the system. After we sift through the suggestions and arrive at a new and improved form, we will give it a test run to ensure its quality.
1. The suggestion was made (shout-out to K.M.) to divide the final tally by the number of lines. This would evaluate a song's poetic potency and reduce the amount of impact the length of a song has on its score. Do you like this idea? Why/why not?
2. We have quite a few poetic devices and elements on the form, but there are many more. Find 3 devices (and their definitions) that you feel merit consideration.
3. Identify at least one aspect of the form that should be considered for deletion and defend your reasoning.
4. Consider the layout. Do you have any suggestions to make the form more user-friendly?
21 comments:
1. I think dividing the end total by the amount of lines is a good idea because then you could choose a shorter song with a lot of poetic devices and put it up against a longer song that is not neccessarily poetically inclined but just has a lot of lines. I don't think this really made sense but hopefully you understand what I'm trying to say...
2. I think you should gain some points if a part of the song personally connects to your life. Next time, make sure the students not only focus on the attributes but the deficiencies also. Add on points for not only local color in general, but extra points for references to anything in New England.
3. Ambiguity should be reconsidered because anytime someone does not understand a line, it could be counted as "ambiguous."
4. Make the circle bigger where you want the final score to be put.
1) I think that this is a really good idea becauswe it compares the song on density not longevity.
2) Onomatopoeia - The use of words which imitate sound.
Slant Rhyme - Sometimes known as half or off rhyme, a rhyme in which the sounds are similar, but not exact often using consonance or assonance.
Couplet - A pair of rhymed lines that may or may not constitute a separate stanza in a poem. Shakespeare's sonnets end in rhymed couplets, as in.
3) The base points because each song should be able to defend for itself by the way it is, giving it an automatic amount of points does nothing to prove whether it is a good song or not.
4) To seperate the vocal and instrumental sections into negative and positive and to put the two different cacophonies into the same section.
1: Well, I've already mentioned this to you, so you know my standpoint and reasons for it, but basically, I think that this would make the song-rating system more fair for short, poetic songs.
Granted, it takes more to write a long poetic song than a short one, so perhaps that can be taken into account.
2) For this, I'd like to mention 3 devices that are already on the system, and how to revise them.
Alliteration, assonance, and consonance should give one point for each word in the phrase that applies, giving a minimum of two points, and well, I guess there really isn't a maximum, but if you're good enough to have an entire song with alliteration, I think it deserves these points.
Ex: Sally sells seashells by the seashore would merit 4 points, if you didn't count "shell" and "shore".
3) I would remove figurative language. I think it is nearly always covered by other devices.
4) I think that the form is great, but you can't have smiley faces without frowny faces.
1. I honestly liked the way it was before, but either way it doesn't really phase me.
2. Onomatopoeia - Using words which imitate the sound they refer to, Meter - The measured arrangement of words in poems, Syntax- The way in which linguistic elements (words and phrases) are arranged to form grammatical structure.
3.
4. No, I like the layout, especially the smilie faces! (:
1. I like this idea because, as we saw from this year's throwdown, the length of a song can really add to its score. I think it makes things more fair so you won't be annihilated so easily next time.
2. a. Slant Rhyme: Sometimes known as half or off rhyme, a rhyme in which the sounds are similar, but not exact often using consonance or assonance.
b. Enjambment: The continuation of the logical sense — and therefore the grammatical construction —
beyond the end of a line of poetry. This is sometimes done with the title, which in effect becomes the first line of the poem.
c. Aubade: A love lyric in which the speaker complains about the arrival of the dawn, when he must part from his lover. John Donne's "The Sun Rising" exemplifies this poetic genre.
3. Too many smiley faces. You should input some intimidating clipart to add a more intense effect.
4. Maybe make the font bigger, or bold the devices or something to make them stand out a little bit more so they are easier to see on the page.
1. Definitely a good idea because Steve Smith proved that, withouth this rule, it is easy to annihilate the teacher.
2.
foot: a unit of rhythm or meter; the division in verse of a group of syllables, one of which is long or accented
dactyls: an element of meter in poetry; in quantitative verse, such as Greek or Latin, a dactyl is a long syllable followed by two short syllable
sestina: a verse form first used by the Provençal troubadours, consisting of six six-line stanzas and a three-line closing stanza, with the end words of the first stanza repeated in varied order as end words in the other stanzas and also recurring in the closing stanza
3. The instrumental rating system should be expanded to incorporate instrumental songs.
4. The form is lovely. Very inviting.
1.) Yes, I like this idea because it gives people more of a chance if their song isn't as long.
2.)stressed- to place an emphasis on a syllable or word in pronoucing or accordance with a metrical pattern
persona-the speaker or voice of literary work who is doing the talking
connotation-The set of associations implied by a word in addition to its literal meaning
3.)Grammar violoation because sometimes the artist does it on purpose for effect or emphasis.
4.)No, I think the form is user friendly the way it is.
1. I do not like this idea because the song rating should focus more on the poetic devices then the number of lines. Also, because if someone had a really long song and the other person had a really short one there would be no chance of winning for the person with the longer song.
2. One could be: Cacophony: A discordant series of harsh, unpleasant sounds helps to convey disorder. Another could be: Apostrophe: Speaking directly to a real or imagined listener or inanimate object; addressing that person or
thing by name. The third on could be: Metonymy: A figure of speech in which a person, place, or thing is referred to by something closely
associated with it.
3. I don't think anything should be removed because it narrrows down everything that is important and should be noted.
4. If it had the definitions next to the poetic devices.
1.I think that the score should be divided by the number of lines because the longer the song is the more points you can score.
2.Rhythm: words that have different beginning sounds but whose endings sound alike, Synecdoche: Indicating a person, object, etc. by letting only a certain part represent the whole, and Analogy: A comparison, usually something unfamiliar with something familiar.
3.I don’t think anything should be removed.
4.If the poetic device had a definition next to it, it may be easier to score the song.
1. I like this idea because it gives short epic songs a chance to prove their poetic excellency without being disregarding due to their lenghth. However, a warning for this technique would be to avoid songs that are very few lines because that would be manipulating the system.
2. One addition is to count alliteration differently: for every additional alliteration add one point so big bunnies has two points but big bouncing bunnies is three. I think interdisciplinary connections within songs should be added to attributes per song. This one may be a stretch, but adding in some of the easily understood rhetoric devices would broaden minds and introduce terms that students may not have had the chance to learn. The repition ones as symploce, epistrophe, anadiplosis, anaphora,epanalepsis are easy to pick out and are recurring in many songs.
3. I beleive the poor word choice should be deleted because it is really hard to tell and very opinionated. Also, without the artist there to defend their word choice it seems unfair because they may of had an intentional purpose for that word.
4.Maybe make a chart to go with it so students can just put tally marks as they go to make adding up the points easier and so on the song sheet we can just put allit. instead of allit. +2 to avoid messiness and confusion.
Kady F.
1/05/11
P.O.S. D
1. it doesn't matter to me
2.enjambment-The breaking of a syntactic unit (a phrase, clause, or sentence) by the end of a line or between two verses. Its opposite is end-stopping, where each linguistic unit corresponds with a single line
denotation-The literal dictionary meaning(s) of a word as distinct from an associated idea or connotation
sonnet-A fixed form consisting of fourteen lines of 5-foot iambic verse at times following a strict rhyme scheme. The conventions associated with the sonnet have changed during its history
3. i don't really care
4. i don't have any suggestions
1. The suggestion was made (shout-out to K.M.) to divide the final tally by the number of lines. This would evaluate a song's poetic potency and reduce the amount of impact the length of a song has on its score. Do you like this idea? Why/why not?
- Yes, I like this idea because not only do you break down the song line by line, when you remove the benefit of the length of the song, it shows you not just the quantity but the quality of the song itself.
2. We have quite a few poetic devices and elements on the form, but there are many more. Find 3 devices (and their definitions) that you feel merit consideration.
-Caesura
A strong pause within a line of verse. The following stanza from Hardy's "The Man He Killed" contains caesuras in the middle two lines:
- He thought he'd 'list, perhaps,
Off-hand-like--just as I--
Was out of work-had sold his traps--
No other reason why.
I feel as if this poetic device would be a benefit to most songs because a lot of narratives have pauses that contribute to the tone and emotion being portrayed by the artist.
Dactyl
A stressed syllable followed by two unstressed ones, as in FLUT-ter-ing or BLUE-ber-ry.
- This device could be beneficial to songs that have a certain sound and or meaning.
Iamb
An unstressed syllable followed by a stressed one, as in to-DAY.
3. Identify at least one aspect of the form that should be considered for deletion and defend your reasoning.
- I feel as if “Awkwardness” should be removed because most people interpret things differently, and what awkward may be to one person could be completely clear to another.
4. Consider the layout. Do you have any suggestions to make the form more user-friendly?
-If there were definitions next to the poetic devices, I feel as if it would help out a lot and make things a lot more clear; so instead of guessing on something because you don’t know what it means exactly, it could clear it up.
ERIN CALLAHAN
1.
Yes, I agree with this because two words with the same letter at the beginning, although appealing to the ear, is a less impressive than say five in a row.
2.
Synecdoche:
Indicating a person, object, etc. by letting only a certain part represent the whole.
Example: All hands on deck.
Foreshadowing:
Hints of what is to come in the action of a play or a story. Ibsen's A Doll's House includes foreshadowing as does Synge's Riders to the Sea. So, too, do Poe's "Cask of Amontillado" and Chopin's "Story of an Hour."
Trochee:
An accented syllable followed by an unaccented one, as in FOOT-ball.
3.
Anunciation should be deleted. It's too open for discussion. Not to mention, the song writer may have done it intentionally to insinuate local color.
4.
The layout looks good to me.
1) I think this is a great idea, it is fair for both Mr. Kefor and the class.
2)- Extended Metaphors: A metaphor that is presented throughout the entire song or poem and uses multiple comparisons
- Onomatopoeia: the use of words that initiate sound
-Reification: To treat an abstraction as if it had concrete or material existence
3) I think "Short Range", which means that the artist does not have a long range of vocal ability, should be considered for deletion. Some artists have a lot of range with thier vocals but sing and/or write bad or predictable songs. Some artists with little range write amazing songs and sing them well, even if they don't use a lot of range.
4) Sometimes I forget the definitions of a lot of these terms. Maybe include a paper with the definitions of the less obvioius words, for example, paraprosdokian.
1. I think that is a good idea because it makes the system fairer. It would put more emphasize on the poetic devices, than the length of the song.
2. Blank Verse: a poem without rhyme but written in iambic pentameter
Caesura: A strong pause within a line of verse
Inversion: the reversal of the usual order of words in a sentence
3. I don't think humor needs to be in attributes per song, and attributes per line.
4. Maybe change around the layout to make it more user-friendly. Put the math portion under the point values.
Emily Boockoff
1.I like the idea, but i feel like shorter, more condensed songs will have an advantage. those kinds of songs most likely deserve to win but a problem may come up with that in the future.
2.varied meter; elaborate and enhancing use of syllables to give words different inflection.
strategic placement of musical breaks; bands like Rush place emphasis on the breaks in their vocals. if a instrumental part enhances the rest of the song, it gets points.
conflict; if there is an obvious contrast between good and bad or two separate and opposite entities in a song.
3. vocal disparities; most of the songs i listen to would lose points in this category if other people scored them. i think this category is very subjective and should not be on the sheet.
4.maybe make a fill-in sheet for people to write on while scoring a song.
1. I think if someone writes a long song with many poetic devices then they deserve to get points for these devices and the number of lines in the song should remain insignificant.
2. The originality of the song should be considered (how different the song is from other songs.) The "flow" of the lyrics should also be added onto the song rating system; if the words don't flow good together you subtract points, and if it flows well you add points.Finally, if the song has a catchy beat, then it deserves some additional points.
3. Alliteration should not be deleted from the list, but we should reconsider counting it for some lines when the alliteration is just two words. The number value of alliteration should change so that songs with epic examples of alliteration count for more points than the lines with only two words beginning with the same letter.
4. I think it is fine and it shouldn't change. I could figure it out just fine, so I'm confident other people will too.
:)
1. I do not like this idea because I feel like it will end up being confusing for a lot of people, plus, people would have to deal with decimals which no one really wants to deal with. NOT dividing it will also show the many poetic devices in the song because of the larger number.
2. I think universal relevance should be added in the per song category because I think it takes a lot for an artist to write a song that can apply to a large amount of people worldwide.
I think diaouge should be added to line by line, but only for a small amount of points, like 1 or 2. I think it emphasizes the narratice feel of a song if it has dialouge.
I think a good rhythm should be added because if the singer is not going with the beat of the song, then, to me, it's not enjoyable to listen to.
3. I think that the value of pointes subtracted for short range should be reduced because a song can still be enjoyable to listen to, enven if the artist has a shorter range than some.
4. I think for the most part the layout is easy to use and self - explanitory. I wouldn't suggest changing it much.
1. I think this is a good idea because not all songs are equal and length and it is unfair if one song has a lot more lines then the other does because then obviously it is going to have a lot more poetic devices within the song. I also think though that it should be taken into consideration that some songs could have many poetic devices but just be too long or repeating and that could affect the score and what the outcome would be.
2. I think that epithet should be included in the scoring system. An epithet is an adjective or an adjective phrase that appropriately qualifies a noun and adds emphasis to it. An example would be “ragged noise”. Catachresis should be included in the scoring system. It is an extravagant implied metaphor using words in an alien or unusual way. Amplification should be included in the scoring system. It involves repeating a word or expression while adding more detail to it, in order to emphasize what might otherwise be passed over.
3. I think that cliché should be deleted because many writers now a day use clichés in their songs and the students should not be punished for something like that. Even people now a day’s use clichés.
4. I like the way the lay out is now rather than before. It is more understanding to someone who is looking at it for the first time and it also is very user friendly.
1. I do not like this idea. What if the team that has the most poetic devices ends up losing because they have so many lines and it makes their song have fewer points than the team that would have lost. Technically the team should have won because we are looking for poetic devices an should not have to worry about the length.
2. Onomatopoeia - The use of words which imitate sound, Figurative language- A form of language use in which writers and speakers convey something other than the literal meaning of their words, Literal language- A form of language in which writers and speakers mean exactly what their words denote
3. I think awkwardness should be removed because what is awkward to one person it might not be awkward to another.
4. If there was color it could be more appealing.
1. I feel that if you divided by the number of lines you would be able to get the average better. The superiority of the song would be less determined by the advantages of songs such as a song being longer, therefore having more poetic devices.
2.Some words that should be given more credit and value are: narrative, irony and synecdoche. They are more sophisticated.
3.Incoherence should be deleted. If that is how the singer performs and sings it should be left as it is. No points should be subtracted. (That's what the printed lyrics are for!)
4. I like the layout. I appreciate the columns for +/-. It helps keep it organized. I like the smilie faces!
-a.perry
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